Talk to people about being diagnosed with prostate cancer

About 1 in 8 men learn they have had prostate cancer at some time during their lives. In fact, it is the second leading cause of cancer death among men in the United States, but after receiving the news, many men find it hard to talk about it or seek help and support as they navigate their cancer journey.

While no one really knows why there is shame and stigma associated with prostate cancer, Christopher Felson, MD, assistant clinical professor of urology at Emory University School of Medicine in Atlanta, says it may have something to do with how the diagnosis and side effects of side treatment can affect the effects. On your sexuality and how you feel masculine.

“[These] They may be topics that men are very cautious about discussing with family members, friends, and others, which makes them a little more sensitive. And it can be difficult for them to branch out to get more information from their typical support networks,” says Felson.

Jerry Danes knows that feeling all too well. It’s been more than 22 years since Deans discovered he had prostate cancer. In 1999, when Deans was 55 years old, a gut feeling to get a physical led to the diagnosis.

Nobody they know has prostate cancer. Deans asked his doctor if he knew of anyone he could reach out to. Turns out there were many people there, but none of them told anyone about their condition.

“If men were afraid of it, they wouldn’t share it. [They] Just don’t contact other men and say, ‘Hey, I’ve got prostate cancer and I’m scared to death. What do I do about it?’ “They just don’t,” says Deans.

Instead, the tendency is to search for it on the Internet. Deans says that can be overwhelming.

“It’s like drinking from a fire hose — I’m overwhelmed by all this stuff. So, you need the support of others.”

Finding out you have prostate cancer can negatively affect your mental health and cause:

Immediately after his diagnosis, Deans underwent surgery, and the doctor told him he might have gotten over this once and for all. So, Deans says he didn’t even bother reaching out to a support group.

Unfortunately, the cancer returned after about a year.

Despite radiation and chemotherapy, levels of protein-specific antigen (PSA)–a type of protein produced by prostate cells that can measure cancer progression–continued to rise.

An oncologist told Deans and his wife that his cancer had metastasized, and that he might have it for the rest of his life.

“We were very depressed,” says Deans. “It’s one of the lowest days of my life to find out that I have metastatic prostate cancer somewhere in my body.”

Besides taking a physical and emotional toll on you, prostate cancer can also cause physical side effects and a lack of communication that can affect your relationship with your partner.

Bob Wright, 74, had no symptoms when it was discovered he had prostate cancer in 2007. After a few years of treatment, doctors told him he had no evidence of recurrence (NERD). But the side effects left him “severely incapacitated and incontinent”.

“I still remember a poster saying prostate cancer is a couple’s disease. Many men, as a result of treatment for prostate cancer, radiation, or surgery, end up with ED, and that affects their relationship,” says Wright, who is a native of Austin, Texas. the couple.

“So this part is probably the most shocking part that not many people know about.”

Filson encourages partners to come see the doctor, especially the first time. Often, partners can communicate better about reality, point out abnormal symptoms, or prompt men to get tested.

Having a partner there can be especially helpful if you feel ashamed or embarrassed about your prostate cancer diagnosis or symptoms.

“I try to gauge the relationship and see what the connection is like,” says Felson. “You often get subtle clues about partners who roll their eyes around significant others who don’t divulge or are stubborn.”

As the primary caregiver, Conboy did not feel she could talk to her friends about her husband’s health or changes in their intimate lives. So, I reached out to a local support group for help and advice.

“It helped to read other people’s stories. I was just here for consolation and it was nice knowing you weren’t the only one going through it,” Conboy says.

Now she encourages her nieces and nephews to get tested early and work to stay healthy, including eating healthy. She says it’s her way of normalizing the discussion about prostate cancer.

“There is nothing shameful or shameful about it.”

When Keith Hoffman’s PSA test showed slightly elevated numbers, it was his then-fiancée (current wife) who encouraged this 62-year-old to go to the urologist. Fortunately for Hoffman, his prostate cancer was caught early, and he was able to have surgery that same month.

But it still affects him.

“Something I’ve learned on my cancer journey is that it’s very difficult to deal with someone who is told they have cancer,” says Hoffman. It was also his wife who pushed him to reach out to a local support group led by Us TOO, a national prostate cancer support organization with local chapters, for help.

“It gives men the opportunity to talk to other men and their caregivers about all aspects of the process not only from the obvious convenience of doctors and specialties, but choice of treatment, tips or things to learn along the way in terms of pain or expectation of recovery time from a layman’s setting,” Hoffman says. He relied on the support and friendship of the group so much that he decided to join the board of directors of the national organisation.

Hoffman and Wright met at the same local branch in Austin, Texas. Both attest to how important and “valuable” it is to seek help, share your journey, and talk about your diagnosis with your peers—especially those who have been through similar obstacles.

Having information can feel powerful no matter what stage your cancer is.

“They can just feel safe and they can say or not say anything,” says Wright. But the magic happens after the meeting. The men don’t want to go home.”

Talking to others about your diagnosis can:

• Provide camaraderie and support
• It reduces your feelings of loneliness or isolation
• Educating you and making you feel empowered to face your diagnosis and treatment
• Unlock additional resources that can provide things like treatment and do’s and don’ts, help managing side effects, suggestions for healthcare providers, and tips for living a healthier lifestyle.
• Relieving depression and anxiety
• Help you learn coping skills and gain tools for dealing with stress
• Create a safe space for you to openly talk about your feelings, doubts, and fears

If you can’t locate a support group in your area, you can find many virtual communities to join and share your journey with.

Besides support groups, you can also count on the hospital’s cancer care team. This includes a variety of healthcare professionals such as therapists, social workers, palliative care specialists, and oncologists. Often, resources are available at no cost. If you have questions, ask your doctor about them.

Exercises such as yoga and meditation, as well as counseling with a psychotherapist, can improve your mood and help you get through the cancer journey.

If you are concerned about medication or treatment side effects, bladder problems, and sexual dysfunction, it is important to tell your doctor. They may be able to find treatment options that work best for you.